Relational Intelligence is the ability to discern if someone should be a part of our lives, and what place they should occupy, and then align them accordingly – Dharius Daniels
In the world of leadership, there are many personality tests, behavioral assessments and management potential evaluations. We may inquire about the emotional intelligence of potential candidates – that is, their ability to understand, manage and use their emotions in the workplace. Experts offer an array of tools for developing strengths and improving weaknesses. Yet, many of us have spent very little time understanding the role individuals play in our own lives. We use terms like friend, associate, colleague, or mentee to refer to the various relationships we have in and out of the workplace. Challenges may arise when we realize that others may not use the terms in the same way we do…In fact, there is a good chance that we are not even consistent in our usage of the terms. That’s where Darius Daniels’ book, Relational Intelligence, can be a practical tool for use in our personal and professional lives.
Daniels provides a framework for understanding where someone fits in our lives…at least at this moment in time. He points out that this may be uncomfortable for many of us as we feel like we may be judging people or putting them into boxes. Daniels, however, explains that we are not limiting people for the entirety of our relationship as much as we are utilizing a framework for understanding the current role that a person may play in our lives. Consider the following categories: Friends, Associates, Assignments, and Advisors. As we begin to use these roles and definitions, we may have a better understanding of how an individual fits into our life. We understand the role they play and what both of us may be able to expect from the relationship. Some people may move from one category to another across the years of our relationship while others may exit altogether.
In all our talk about categories and alignment, we must also consider the roles we play in the health of our relationships. We must ask, particularly as it relates to the friend category, “What kind of friend am l?” – Dharius Daniels